If I Stay-Gayle Forman

Ever since Sherman Alexie pulled me out of my bookslump, it's like the floodgates have opened and all these really wonderful books have come slip sliding my way. If I Stay is one of those wonderful books.

Mia, a seventeen year old high school senior, has a pretty good life. She's close with her family, she has a loving punk rock boyfriend, and it seems to be a given that she'll be accepted into Julliard. But that wouldn't make for a very interesting story would it? Course not. Enter the conflict.

"Everyone thinks it was because of the snow. And in a way, I suppose that's true."

A thin layer of snow falls, and, because this is Oregon, the schools shut down. The family decides to take advantage of the snow day by taking an impromptu road trip. One minute, they're trying to come to a consensus over which radio station to listen to, and the next, Mia is standing on the side of the road, surveying the terrible car wreck that has killed her family. Mia doesn't understand what she's seeing. She walks over to the mangled car and sees her own body there, mangled, the flesh of her leg ripped away to reveal the bone beneath.

Am I dead?

I actually have to ask myself this.

Am I dead?

Before the accident, Mia was struggling with which path to take. Does she follow her first love-music-to New York City and Julliard, or does she stay with her family and the boyfriend who loves her so very much? Now though, as she watches herself lay there in a hospital bed, deep in a coma, she has a much greater decision to make; Should I stay?

Oh man. This book just about ripped my heart out of my chest. Mia thinks back to time spent with her family, and while she's relating these lovely memories, I sort of forgot that her family is dead. When I remembered (rather, when Mia reminded me of the fact) I felt this giant whoosh of the wind being knocked out of me. No! I love them so much! They can't be dead!

It's why the book is so brilliant. Mia is so torn between letting go (it'd be easier, she's so very tired, and maybe she'd be with her family again. Life would be so hard without them) and staying for the things that are still here (Adam, Kim, her music.)She knows life will be so painful if she stays. If she goes, she knows she leaves behind people that love her, and need her to come back to them. What would you do? I honestly didn't know what Mia's choice would be. Of course I wanted her to live, but I would have totally understood if she decided to just let go.

I cannot say enough how beautiful this book is. After finishing the last page, I had the desire to sit alone in silence, just to be able to digest all the beauty and the pain.

Have I convinced you to read it yet??