Mess With the Salinger, You Get the Cease and Desist

Oh happy day! Not that I was really worried or anything (ok, maybe just a teensy bit) but a U.S. District judge has ruled that the odious "Coming Through The Rye" can not be published in the U.S.

In her ruling, Judge Deborah Batts wrote that J.D. California's (real name Fredrik Colting) claim that he wrote the book to "critically examine" the character of Holden Caulfield was "problematic and lacks credibility." No objections there.

Colting's attorney is "saddened" by the verdict, apparently on the basis that "members of the public will be deprived of the chance to read the book and decide for themselves whether it adds to their understanding of Salinger and his work." HA! Deprived? No deprivation here, buddy.

One of Salinger's lawyers, Marcia Beth Paul declined to comment on the decision. Wise move Ms. Paul. I'm sure she felt like getting all up in Colting's grille and yelling "in your FACE you two bit HACK!" But comments like that aren't widely believed to be "professional" or whatever. Nice restraint.

I think it's pretty fitting that this decision comes down just before Independence Day. Now I can enjoy my long weekend, free from the tyranny of bad writing and ill advised sequels.

Flight-Sherman Alexie

Mr. Alexie, you are on NOTICE. If you write ONE MORE novel as brilliant as Absolutely True Diaries of a Part Time Indian or Flight, you will officially be my new literary boyfriend.

Flight tells the story of "Zits," a half Indian, half White 15 year old foster child. His mother died when he was six, and his father ran off the day Zits was born. Because his father never claimed him, Zits can't claim legal status as an Indian. As such, he's placed with white family after white family.

Zits harbors a deep anger and hatred for his situation in life. And I don't blame him; he's been through something like 20 foster homes (none of them good) and all his belongings fit in a backpack. Understandably, he's kind of a prick. But, you know, I have a GIANT soft spot for unruly foster kids, so I liked Zits immediately.

Convinced by a "friend" he met in Juvie, Zits walks into a bank, armed and crazy, and opens fire. A bullet explode into his head and then...nothingness. When he wakes up, he finds that not only is it 1975, but he's inhabiting the body of Hank Storm, an FBI agent.

Zits careens through space and time, waking up in new bodies that witness shocking acts of violence and revenge, including Custer's Last Stand.

Of course there's a moral lesson here about the damage seeking revenge can cause, but the moral never feels heavy handed. I adored Zits, and teared up more than once as he told his story. As this is a Sherman Alexie novel, I also laughed quite a bit.

Seriously Mr. Alexie; I'm one more good book away from staring at your author photo with little cartoon hearts in my eyes. I may or may not begin keeping a photo of you on my bedside. You know, something like this:


Don't say you haven't been warned.